What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why did my crush like me for only two days in a row?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What was your first experience like with a black man?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How do I get off Paxil?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Novel coating shields iron from rust with 99.6% efficiency - Phys.org

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Would you let your partner cheat on you every now and again?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

TEXT:

What does it mean if you dream your dad died?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why do some people dislike rap and hip hop music despite there being poor quality music in every genre?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do wokes use words like "homophobes" when they don't know what that means? Do they realize that no one is afraid of them?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What would happen if the Earth stopped spinning for one minute?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.